Wings and Such: April 2013

I wish I could capture this moment. It is raining outside. A cold spring rain that may turn into inches of snow overnight. But for now I can only hear the rain drops, the first of the year. The light from the floor lamp is golden and warm. I sit on my comfortable couch, in warm, snuggly clothes, and take in the homeiness of my house. I love the little artifacts that speak to the love of the people that dwell here. It puts my heart at ease. Its so safe, and snug, and home. Johnathan David Hessler sings in the back ground. A soft piano rift tenderly speaking the name "Abba" and the beauty of the relationship that dwells in that name.

I relax in a day spent well; full of life and learning and practice and the presence of my Father.

I am so thankful.

I am thankful for the moments spent praying with friends. I am thankful for the incredible displays of Holy Spirit's love for me and for others, and for his detailed attention to our hearts' needs.

Yesterday I prayed with one of my dearest friends. Holy Spirit flowed off her in radiating waves of heat, spiritual energy. He is so faithful! I have never experienced such a powerful moment! And she was healed from a debilitating headache, but I suspect the heart healing was far greater. I am so blessed to have been a part of that wonderful moment.

Later that day I met an amazing man named Thomas. Holy Spirit sent me on an errand to bring a bagel to one of his kids downtown. This was fortuitous because I also needed change for the bus. I met Thomas on the corner of Nicollet and 7th. He had a sign stating he was a disabled vet and had his veteran's card out to prove it. I liked his honesty and after a loop to confirm I felt Holy Spirit leading me to him (I only had one bagel), I sat down to speak with him. He was jumped 5 years ago and suffered brain damage. The first thing he told me is that it was nice to meet me but he may not remember me if he sees me again. Both his short and long term memory are affected. I used to work with folks suffering with Alzheimers and recognize some of the patterns of how memory loss is displayed in speech. He wasn't conning me. He has several children, who are now grown, and an ex-wife who states she wouldn't have divorced him if he thought more about how he said things. I could tell this still stung. He has a social work visit next week to determine his status in transitional housing, and was brought back from the dead twice after he was jumped. He was a 'vegetable' (his words) for 6 months before he came out of the comma to find a yellow toe tag stating DNR securely attached to his foot. Thomas is a miracle. And his loved. So. incredibly. loved.

After about 10 minutes we were approached by a man whose name I can't remember. John maybe? He started up like an interested sales man, and quickly asked me if I had a relationship with Jesus Christ. Why yes I do, thanks John!:) He launched into explaining why he and his colleague were out sharing the Gospel. He had some puns and ways of turning Thomas's story back to a 'faith conversation'. I was a little annoyed at John. I just wanted to take some time to get to know Thomas. This guy had an agenda. And it was seriously disrupting my listening. I indicated that I was just talking with Thomas to kind of share with him myself. John gave me the eye and asked "So we are on the same team then, yes?' Sure. I guess so. I'm not going to make any judgments about his motives. Maybe he's just out here trying to be obedient to Holy Spirit, too.

At that point I tell Thomas that God had me come down there to give him the bagel, because he is loved. He says thanks and means it. He asks if I will put it in his back pack. I stick my fancy bagel I got at discount into his almost empty pack as he turns around. John echos my sentiments that God must really have him "in his sights" because he sent both of us to him. I agree with this as God sees Thomas and really cares for him. John asks me a question, and I know its going to be a big deal to him because he starts with "let me ask you a question." Ok. "Do you have a church you attend regularly?" Thomas informs him that he used to go to church....over there...but he can't remember where because he has short term and long term memory loss. You see, he was mugged, and died twice.... John returns his question to me. Why, yes I do! "Which one? " I sense a set up, and I try not to let my concern that my new friend John might be part of a cult show on my face. I'm trying really hard.

I tell him where I go to church. He's never heard of it. I think it's his turn to try not to not let his concern I might be part of a cult show on his face. Ok. Fair. My church name sounds like something from science class. Whatever. John belongs to something- something-Tabernacle. I can't figure out if this is Jewish or JW or what, so I ask. He said its Pentecostal. Ok. Holy Spirit, holy roller. I can dig it.

After a few more points of conversation that seem to still have John and I trying to determine who the other is, I am getting frustrated that I am no longer listening to Thomas. He is the reason I am here. So when John and Thomas start comparing their past military experience I asked God if I can gets to getting, and I feel a release to go. Better one of us should focus on Thomas than distract the other. I tell Thomas that it was really nice meeting him. And I mean it. With all my heart. The thing with John has been distracting to say the least, but still periphery. My heart is still full of affection for Thomas. Thomas says it was really nice talking to me, but he may not remember me if he sees me again, as he has short term and long term memory loss. I tell him that's ok. I will remember him, and remind him.

I'm praying for Thomas today. For his social work appointments. For his heart. For God to be his filter, and for his soul to hear and understand the deeply compassionate love of the Father, even if his mind struggles. I haven't prayed for John yet. But I'm getting there. I'm not mad at him, or even really irritated. I just want him to love Thomas because he is lovable and because he is there.

I'm glad Thomas isn't cold tonight, that he has some where to go. I hope that he has snuggly couches and warm clothes to help make the night more enjoyable. But mainly, I hope I see him again. I want to find him on Nicollet Mall if he is there and I want to finish hearing his story. I want to be love to Thomas, and I think Love takes time to get to know you, to hear the details of your heart, to come along side you in the daily grind of life and make your next steps filled with joy. Maybe bagels and listening will help Thomas experience the tangible love of God and maybe it won't. Maybe Love will look like an powerful encounter with Holy Spirit in his radiance like my dear friend experienced when we prayed together. Maybe it will be something altogether different. I don't have nice bow to tie this one up. I'm just excited I got to be a part of both moments, got to love both people with God. Sign me up for more Monday's like this!!

Wings and Such

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Thankfulness and bagels

Friday, April 5, 2013

Freedom